I am always amused by artist statements that say absolutely nothing and manage to be pretentious at the same time. It is good to know there are others who share my thoughts on this subject: How the Art World's Lingo of Exclusivity Took Root, Branched Out, A...
That article references this one, which is also quite entertaining International Art English
So now I will write my own. "I am an artist. I move paint around on canvas, using colors, shapes, and lines that please me. There is no purpose, no hidden meaning, no secret message in my art, there are just colors, shapes, and lines that please me."